BREAKING NEWS

Today is 'Talk like a Pirate' Day

talklikeapirateday.com



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At some point, we all become "that asshole" on the highway.

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WE DO KNOW JACK

Joy got a dog this past weekend, Jack.



He's a very good boy. Rottweiller and we're thinking maybe Doberman. He's like a Rott on the Hollywood no-carb diet. Very strong, very fun and playful. He and his buddy were given to the rescue in Howell per a nasty divorce, where the husband got everything and the wife gave the dogs up to (hopefully) a good home rather than let the ex-hubbie keep them and most likely not care for them well. Every loss is a gain somewhere else. So Joy wanted a big dog as loveable as Max the other Rott she dogsits for her brother sometimes. Finding as good a dog as Max is near impossible, but Jack is a good candidate. When he mellows a bit and gets used to his new Ma and Pa, he's gonna be just fine.

And he's barked only twice since we got him; once when Brendan tried the "Speak!" (for a treat) trick, and once when he "BOOF!"-ed at some people who walked a little close to the house this weekend. We were worried his protective instincts might be a tad on the Lebowski Dude side (the rescue said he acted like "didn't have a care in the world." They were right.)

He's strong. You could ski down the sidwalk behind him with no wheels if you're light enough.

Everyone says their huge menacing violent looking big dog is a big teddy bear. This guy is. But if you ask to shake, his RoboRott legs are like junior baseball bats. He brings it up and brings it down and your arm goes dee-OWn. He honestly doesn't know his own strength. He's like a cute small dog reincarnatd into a big dog. I wish we had some pics of him of our own, cuz he's a smiley dog. These pics of him from the rescue make him look a little serious.


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ME WUVS HALEN

From an email of mine to Ruz who's serving in Iraq, and my all-time best VH drinking buddy. Old men sit in the driveay in their lawn chairs talking about sports and the war, Ruz and I will be cheerleading about Van Halen over our egg-beaters and juice at Ram's Horn when we're 80.

Me Wise Magic might be my all-time favorite VH song dude.
I think it may just be their finest moment. The tune they pick to put on the Voyager probe so the aliens can hear choice tunes from EarthRock.

In one tune it just about encompasses every 'ism' of each guy, every crystallized value of their playing and personae that I have always loved and appreciated, from every stage of their musical development that I hold dear about VH. It houses the absolute blow your wad on the mountaintop rock glory of the younger years with the taste, chops, and matured musicality that they got over 30 years of jamming. I am muscially in love with that song, and the band for it.

I say it again, this song, as a composition, guitar solo and all, could be submitted as a music school jury piece.

This tune is almost 10 years old dude. Every note is perfect and genius, even when it's a wag.

God I wish those 4 could get it together and get Glenn Ballard to corral that energy again. Ballard got it down to tape. He gets a performance out of a band that leans precariously over the cliff edge of what even they think they can deliver, so the emotion runs at the scared yet confident edge. Then he puts a sheen on it so it sounds closer to glory than it does a near-casualty.

[I will be coming back 'round on this topic with my doctorate on why Me Wise Magic is so good. A detailed inventory and review of this song's composition. Stay tuned Rock Dawgs. but if you wanna start, early just listen to it first and only follow the guitar. Like if you had to learn to play it. Listen to the rhythm chords unerneath the chorus. Star with Eddie's part. Everything he is is in that guitar part, then and now. Trust me, I've logged the hours and miles. This song is their time capsule/lightning in a bottle.]

That Dave Mathews Everyday album is same way.
I go to the wall for that one too, even though everyone says its the corporate record. Bullsh*t.
Ballard wrung the absolute last drops of musical beauty out of that band on that one. He got the brush, twigs and branches out of the way so the ear could "see" and hear the tree. That beauty was always (and is always) there with DMB, and Ballard grabbed the essential elements and brought them forefront for the ear to hear immediately.

Shit, I'm a drummer, but even I want a perfect chord change rather than some hi-hat roll trick. Carter can bitch all he wants in hindsight about how much Ballard didn't let him play alot on that album. Well, sulk in the mansion Carter, cuz I remember reading the Rolling Stone in the magazine aisle of the Ypsilanti Meijer's hen Everyday came out, reading your words that you said about how much you loved that Ballard's guidance (albeit uncomfortable at first) really helped you mellow and let the song breathe better and be expressed more powerfully. Reminds me of Chris Squire of Yes heaping praise all over Trevor Rabin at the 1994 release party for the 'Talk' album. Then the band split, Squire started up the retro-classic Yes with Howe back in and just shit-talked all over Rabin. Hey Squire you pretentious British Bass F*ck, Rabin kept your yacht payments in good standing in the 80s. If you're gonna complain, go after the wardrobe person for the 90125 tour.
Shithead.

Lothar of the Bass People.


Now we know where Patrick "Wah" Roy got the idea for those psych-you-out goalie knee pads.


River Yes Dance!


I love ya Chris, and I always turn up the 'Roundabout', but not Geddy, Mark King, Billy Sheehan, or Bootsy has yet been knighted for bass playing and granted a castle of their own. I love seein' the hustle out there on stage, and the upper class British dignity you carry your head high with being a rock bassists is impressive. But it's a piece of wood that goes "BRONG!" and "Baownk ba-Daonk Baownk". I'm sure Arthur woud no doubt have made you the Round Table's designated minstrel representative. But you try leading some 3rd Crusade into the Middle East with just that mighty Rickenbacker, and Ltn. Commander Tony [call-sign:} "Bruce" Lee is gonna end that desert plain bass solo for Humanity's Love with a daisy cutter right up the back of that trenchcoat. 'Owner of Some Lonely Parts' I'm thinking...




Wai'...whut were we talkin' about?





Oh Yeah!, so we go this dog named Jack.


He's a very good boy. Rottweiller and we're thinking maybe Doberman. He's like a Rott on the Hollywood no-carb diet. Very strong, very fun and playful. He and his buddy were given to the rescue in Howell per a nasty divorce, where the husband got everything and the wife gave the dogs up to (hopefully) a good home rather than let the ex-hubbie keep them and most likely not care for them well. Every loss is a gain somewhere else. So Joy wanted a big dog as loveable as Max the other Rott she dogsits for her brother sometimes. Finding as good a dog as Max is near impossible, but Jack is a good candidate. When he mellows a bit and gets used to his new Ma and Pa, he's gonna be just fine.

And he's barked only twice since we got him; once when Brendan tried the "Speak!" (for a treat) trick, and once when he "BOOF!"-ed at some people who walked a little close to the house this weekend. We were worried his protective instincts might be a tad on the Lebowski Dude side (the rescue said he acted like "didn't have a care in the world." They were right.)

He's strong. You could ski down the sidwalk behind him with no wheels if you're light enough.

Everyone says their huge menacing violent looking big dog is a big teddy bear. This guy is. But if you ask to shake, his RoboRott legs are like junior baseball bats. He brings it up and brings it down and your arm goes dee-OWn. He honestly doesn't know his own strength. He's like a cute small dog reincarnatd into a big dog. I wish we had some pics of him of our own, cuz he's a smiley dog. These pics of him from the rescue make him look a little serious.


Such a good boy.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get rid of the automatic spam that someone sicked on this blog's comments section.

Oh, I forgot...
I did go see Umphrey's McGee, and they were spectacular again.

Yooou must learn the ways of the Force, if you're to come with me to Umphreylderann..."



Umphrey's play so good I feel like a little girl when I see them.



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'ATCHOO HAIKU:

Chase chicken like Rocky
Catch fry like Miyagi
Catch grasshopper by hopping in grass too
Here ends 'Atchhoo Haiku.




Thaaaat's right...IIIII'm Abe Froman...