Thursday, August 18, 2005

So which Big 3 company, oil company, or government office will foot the bill for the goon squad to take out this guy with the 'Preston Tucker Treatment'?

Tinkerers fiddle with hybrids to increase efficiency. Getting 250 mpg.


Too many families here making too much money off generations of gas guzzling car sales. Mass transit and less reliance on cars means less car sales. Henry Ford the 17th's trust fund goes bye-bye when efficient innovation threatens the money spring of the Old Guard and their models.

Follow the money.

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By the way some piece of sh*t decided to set the auto-spam machine on and post "comments" to this blog that are just ads. sorry for this. If you see comments "removed by administrator", that's me cleaning out spam.

Everday with this crap happening, I'm understanding more why the Kaczynski's of the world go live off the grid in a cabin. I'd just talkto the birds and critters instead of building bombs though. Well.. playing with m-80s would be fun. But I wouldn't be leaving them in people's mialboxes. I'd just blow stuff up out in the woods. Like the outhouse. THAT would be fun. But then the spread-out poop would make the area attract bears who'd eat my food. Not good because off the grid I'd have no electricity for the motion-sensor alarm. But I could befriend the bear, name him Ben II. Or maybe 'Ben Too'? I do have a favorite flannel I like to wear, and I've been told facial hair is becoming on me. I do like Doc Marten boots too. And I recently came to appreciate the greatness of suspenders with the suit I bought for a wedding years ago.

Ya know, this whole Grizzly Adams thing (as you can see) is making alot of sense and speaking to me. It's all coming together without me trying.

Then when I'm bored I head into town and while saying hi to the folks on the main drag, learn of some petty crisis from old Maude who lives on the hill that can become that week's adventure for me and Ben Too. (See how that name works so well already??")

But I need a name...something the townfolk will remember well.

"Grizzly Adams"...

"Grumpy Below"?
"Uncle Dave"?
"Bear Guy"?
"Mr. Gave Up"?
"Un-Unabomber"?
"Glorified Igor"?
"Mountain Adventure Guy with Crazy Bear Friend"?

I need to work on this some more.
And I need to find someone who works at the zoo so I can steal, er, I mean free a bear cub I can raise to be my sidekick. Teach him to drink with me like the Molson commercials bear. And communicate too. So he can go into town without me to buy more beer.

Clancy the General Store manager: "Well hello B.T.!"
B.T. (Bear Too): "KBWAARLL"
Clancy: "Another case?
B.T.: "BWAAARL"
Clancy [setting case on counter]: "Is he on another bender again?"
B.T.: "HRAAAAL! REMF RemF..."
Clancy [ringing up case]: "Ya now B.T. you need to stop supporting this behavior in him. It's not doing him or you any good. That'll be...oh why do I even ask. You always show me you have no pockets anyway for money, you're a bear."
B.T.: "GRAWL! FRIMF FRIMF! HARG HARG Pft BLARRGHH!:
Clancy: Save it B, you always use that excuse. I'll just charge this to the birthday party tab. You're still coming to little Jessie's party so the kids can ride and play with you.
B.T.: "BLAAAAAARL!
Clancy: YES, you will wear the party hat!
B.T.: "BLAAAAARL!"
Clancy: YES You WILL. You still want this case of Grolsch???
B.T.: "PMMff..."
Clancy: "That's what I thought."

[clancy rings up beer. Sheepishly looks at B.T.]

Clancy: "Aw, I'm sorry B. You know I'm your friend. I just care about you two up there,that's all."
B.T.: "mmmMMMRRmmmhimpf..."
Clancy: 'C'mere and give ol' Clance a hug."

B.T.: "HRIMF HRIMF Bla -"
Clancy: "YES B, I get the irony here."

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Check out this sweet World Record Bike Jump

2 comments:

praynlady said...

NOT SPAM! haha Your blog is crazy and it made me smile. Have a great day!
No link for you to go to other than my blog but i've had to delete much of the spam poop in the last few days too. Who thinks up this stuff? Maybe we should all make up fake blogs just for the spammers! lol

.:DataWhat?:. said...

I think you have a great blog. Can I interest you in a low-interest home loan? or aluminum siding? Shorten or lengthen your penis?

Or can I interest you in maybe changing your Comments provider over to HaloScan?

They have a bunch of different templates and I don't get any spam...yet.

Your bear story was very fun...I need a beerbear too, so lemme know how that works out.