(All items are about sex.)
These two deserve all the misery they get having to endure being together to fulfill the contracts they signed in the first place.
[Imagine I spelled 'twats' in a way that made it pronounced like 'brats'. Thanks]
Sexy Because: Paris Hilton is only "important" because the only thing she can do is look sexy.
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Berlin readies giant brothel for 2006 World Cup
No, really.
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Don't know how much this relates to the Sex Issue this edition is supposed to be, but on my headphones is INXS's 'The Stairs', my favorite tune of theirs. Which makes me think of that horrible Rock Star show the band is doing with "host" Dave Navarro to find Hutchence's replacement. Saw 10 minutes of an episode the other week.
Just when I think today's wanna-be's can't get any more irritatingly striving/posturing/over-hyping their own lameness, some producer comes up with an idea for a show that proves me wrong.
Especially vomit-worthy is watching the 'O' and rock faces the other contestants put on fakely when the camera is on them sidestage as they "root on" their competitors singing on stage. Especially that black mohawk dude, he's ridiculous. I didn't know the Mad Max people actually rejected people trying out for "Mutant-Extra".
These idiots need to kneel on the ground and hold between their out-stretched arms one of those over-sized turbo slingshots you launch water ballons with so I can stretch the middle pouch back 30 feet, put a brick in it, and let go.
Lou Ferrigno needs to pick Dave Navarro up by his nipples and throw him through a very thick restaurant front window. Maybe he'll put a shirt on then. I think of my friends who really were behind the Jane's back in the day and must cringe at this great guitarist now.
Sexy Because: Navarro would probably think it was sexy-violent-cool to be thrown out a window by The Hulk. He'd get up, brush the glass shards out of his fur coat and start slowly frenching Lou while Carmen videotapes it for his next video.
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GPS surveillance of sex offenders.
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I'm tired, so I'll end with saying I watched the movie 'Be Cool', the sequel to 'Get Shorty'. Sonnenfield did not direct it and it's apparent. But if you watch "Get Shorty" sometime, watching "Be Cool" is a neat novelty rental since the whole Chili Palmer thing is in your short term memory. Vince Vaughan is pretty funny, and of all people, The Rock is actually quite a good actor in this one.
Anyway, there's a dancing scene between Travolta and Uma Thurman in 'Be Cool' that is actually quite sexy. Like "this probably ruffled their significant other's feathers a bit cuz damn! they look like they really wanna do it to each other afterwards" sexy.
I thought.
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For you techies out there, check out this article about how potential future DVD copyright encryption for hi-def DVD's could really screw the consumer when hackers mess with it.
This kind of thing is making me understand alot earlier in life why Grandma and Grandpa wouldn't keep upgrading their home entertainment stuff.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Be My Taco Bell Bitch yo.
Ya know how like every 4-6 years a new Taco Bell item makes it to your stomach's VIP room? Something that just works for you and becomes the default item for the while?
I was a burrito supreme man in the late 80s. Since the Meximelt hit around that time, it's now a default item,the supreme a treat every 5 years. I could live on Meximelts if they didn't kill me. Early to mid 90s the 7-layer burritto became my main gun, with a Meximelt. But a few too many times of the rice in it being overcooked and crunchy turned me off. I drifted for awhile on meximelts and new gimmicks till the Double Decker Supreme came to town in the early 'oughts. Been on that ever since. Its the best of both worlds - you get some crunch with your folded-differently 'burrito', or, your 'taco' doesn't shatter onto the tray and paper after bite 1.
Bekkala got me now hooked on the spicy chicken burritto. It's my new 'TBell bitch'.
Buck 29 and oh so fine.
Listen I'm not joking...this [blog's] my job!
I was a burrito supreme man in the late 80s. Since the Meximelt hit around that time, it's now a default item,the supreme a treat every 5 years. I could live on Meximelts if they didn't kill me. Early to mid 90s the 7-layer burritto became my main gun, with a Meximelt. But a few too many times of the rice in it being overcooked and crunchy turned me off. I drifted for awhile on meximelts and new gimmicks till the Double Decker Supreme came to town in the early 'oughts. Been on that ever since. Its the best of both worlds - you get some crunch with your folded-differently 'burrito', or, your 'taco' doesn't shatter onto the tray and paper after bite 1.
Bekkala got me now hooked on the spicy chicken burritto. It's my new 'TBell bitch'.
Buck 29 and oh so fine.
Listen I'm not joking...this [blog's] my job!
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Remember the Cronin
That REO Speedwagon ballad from 1985, "Can't Fight This Feeling";
That song works.
It works because:
1. The song, as a composition, is there.
2. It's pure REO. Really.
Next time you're sitting in the Allergist's office listening to soft-rock radio waiting out your 15 minutes after your allergy shot (to make sure you don't have a funny reaction before you leave) and it comes on, fold your hands, put down the 3 week old PEOPLE magazine and really listen to it. It's got it.
I always felt this, but this morning I understood why.
If you could speed up the song from ballad tempo to mid tempo, you'll see that it's total REO. Kevin Cronin's vocals, from melody choices, to his little inflection hops he does are all there, just slowed down. If the 1985 synth piano was removed from the intro & outro and it was just acoustic piano, and the drums weren't overly processed, you'd hear this song being as classic as the other REO we all know and love. Huge chorus, Mt. Olympus guitar solo perfectly melded in, song decontructs going out the same way it constructed coming in, Cronin's syncopated vocal melodies where the the last word of the verse dips back down to the same note each line, it's there man.
Forget his smiley cheesy face in the video laying down the vocals, that glossy spittle on his lips making you wanna hit him. Hear the song, and Remember the Cronin who was 80 pounds selling out arenas in the late 70s, hammering that piano with the air raid siren keyboard announcing "Riding The Storm Out", the REO that Dr. Johnny Fever on WKRP in Cincinnatti was always selling tickets to on the air. THAT REO. Cronin with the giant spaceballs Dark Helmet rock hair.
Not today's Cronin imagine (though they still bring it live)
THIS Cronin
I've been jamming "Roll with The Changes" alot lately because it rocks, and because the cover band I'm in might play it. I borrowed a friend's Live Aid DVD and watched REO at the Philly show recently. I've had musical REO DNA in my system lately, believe you me. Now granted, I really liked the ballad back in the day. I was 14, and a big power ballad with real drum fills in it just did it for ya in the 80s, regardless of your gender. (Sorry 90s kids, we had men singing the ballads we slow-danced to in the gym back then, not Mariah squeal-shattering glasses singing about chumps with Booty ADD).
But I'm tellin ya, 'Can't fight This Feeling' is old school REO if you really listen to the components. Its akin to all of their classics, just wound down about 12 beats-per-minute, with some mid 80s production spritz. (Spritz was big in the 80s ya know.) But the notes man, the notes are there.
Go ahead make fun of me. You're just in denial. It's okay. I understand. Really.
Just remember the only air raid siren you'll hear anywhere near Coldplay is the one the network uses as a hype sound effect edited into the pre-game post-season rally-up breakdown halftime report montage (using 'Speed of Sound' as the music) that makes men who put leather balls in holes and other special places seem like important Delta Squad Halo Terminator Globetrotter Ninjas-On-Fire Starship Trooper Dicks saving the planet and humanity thru...a game.
RantOff.
P.s My Bro Brendan saw REO play in Vegas a few months ago on the roof of Ceasar's, in town for a major covention, all the convention companies had parties with music acts. Said REO anniolated the place.
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In other news, my Carlin desk calendar today is great:
I've always wanted to place a personal ad no one would answer: "Elderly, depressed, accident-prone junkie, likes Canadian food and Welsh music, seeking rich, well-built, oversexed, female deaf mute in her late teens, Must be non-smoker."
That song works.
It works because:
1. The song, as a composition, is there.
2. It's pure REO. Really.
Next time you're sitting in the Allergist's office listening to soft-rock radio waiting out your 15 minutes after your allergy shot (to make sure you don't have a funny reaction before you leave) and it comes on, fold your hands, put down the 3 week old PEOPLE magazine and really listen to it. It's got it.
I always felt this, but this morning I understood why.
If you could speed up the song from ballad tempo to mid tempo, you'll see that it's total REO. Kevin Cronin's vocals, from melody choices, to his little inflection hops he does are all there, just slowed down. If the 1985 synth piano was removed from the intro & outro and it was just acoustic piano, and the drums weren't overly processed, you'd hear this song being as classic as the other REO we all know and love. Huge chorus, Mt. Olympus guitar solo perfectly melded in, song decontructs going out the same way it constructed coming in, Cronin's syncopated vocal melodies where the the last word of the verse dips back down to the same note each line, it's there man.
Forget his smiley cheesy face in the video laying down the vocals, that glossy spittle on his lips making you wanna hit him. Hear the song, and Remember the Cronin who was 80 pounds selling out arenas in the late 70s, hammering that piano with the air raid siren keyboard announcing "Riding The Storm Out", the REO that Dr. Johnny Fever on WKRP in Cincinnatti was always selling tickets to on the air. THAT REO. Cronin with the giant spaceballs Dark Helmet rock hair.
Not today's Cronin imagine (though they still bring it live)
THIS Cronin
I've been jamming "Roll with The Changes" alot lately because it rocks, and because the cover band I'm in might play it. I borrowed a friend's Live Aid DVD and watched REO at the Philly show recently. I've had musical REO DNA in my system lately, believe you me. Now granted, I really liked the ballad back in the day. I was 14, and a big power ballad with real drum fills in it just did it for ya in the 80s, regardless of your gender. (Sorry 90s kids, we had men singing the ballads we slow-danced to in the gym back then, not Mariah squeal-shattering glasses singing about chumps with Booty ADD).
But I'm tellin ya, 'Can't fight This Feeling' is old school REO if you really listen to the components. Its akin to all of their classics, just wound down about 12 beats-per-minute, with some mid 80s production spritz. (Spritz was big in the 80s ya know.) But the notes man, the notes are there.
Go ahead make fun of me. You're just in denial. It's okay. I understand. Really.
Just remember the only air raid siren you'll hear anywhere near Coldplay is the one the network uses as a hype sound effect edited into the pre-game post-season rally-up breakdown halftime report montage (using 'Speed of Sound' as the music) that makes men who put leather balls in holes and other special places seem like important Delta Squad Halo Terminator Globetrotter Ninjas-On-Fire Starship Trooper Dicks saving the planet and humanity thru...a game.
RantOff.
P.s My Bro Brendan saw REO play in Vegas a few months ago on the roof of Ceasar's, in town for a major covention, all the convention companies had parties with music acts. Said REO anniolated the place.
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In other news, my Carlin desk calendar today is great:
I've always wanted to place a personal ad no one would answer: "Elderly, depressed, accident-prone junkie, likes Canadian food and Welsh music, seeking rich, well-built, oversexed, female deaf mute in her late teens, Must be non-smoker."
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Sunday Funnies
From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was
postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and
readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice
and explain their reason.
The best submissions: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful
for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just
opening bottles.
KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in
pairs.
TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere you have
to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air
part.
SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and
retain water.
WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue
hanging out.
COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to
warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the
right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the
wrong buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you can
always see right through them.
SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people
up.
HOURGLASS -- female, because over time, the weight shifts to the
bottom
HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5000
years but it's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL -- female...Ha!...you thought I'd say male. But
consider, it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and
while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps
trying.
postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and
readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice
and explain their reason.
The best submissions: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful
for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just
opening bottles.
KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in
pairs.
TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere you have
to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air
part.
SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and
retain water.
WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue
hanging out.
COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to
warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the
right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the
wrong buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you can
always see right through them.
SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people
up.
HOURGLASS -- female, because over time, the weight shifts to the
bottom
HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5000
years but it's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL -- female...Ha!...you thought I'd say male. But
consider, it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and
while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps
trying.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Genius
So over late night snack at Red Robin, Joy and I see reruns on the TV's of the All-Star game pre-game fun day at Detroit's Comerica Park. Billy Bob Thornton is interviewed on the sideline, he's there to wear a Bad News Bears cap and promote the remake movie he's in by just being there as a celebrity wearing his BNB cap.
I almost lose my mouthful of food onto the floor from a creeper laughter that wells within me as I think on Joy's spontaneous, earnest, pure comment about Billy Bob, a comment I think may well perfectly summarize the world's collective shared feelings about Billy Bob, yet has never been pinned to Earth with accurate words:
Joy: [in tired empathetic sincere voice] "Ya know, I wish that Billy Bob Thornton would just relax into being the dirty old man that he really is, and then we could all relax too and celebrate with him."
I almost lose my mouthful of food onto the floor from a creeper laughter that wells within me as I think on Joy's spontaneous, earnest, pure comment about Billy Bob, a comment I think may well perfectly summarize the world's collective shared feelings about Billy Bob, yet has never been pinned to Earth with accurate words:
Joy: [in tired empathetic sincere voice] "Ya know, I wish that Billy Bob Thornton would just relax into being the dirty old man that he really is, and then we could all relax too and celebrate with him."
Thursday, July 07, 2005
This NASA site has actual footage from when they shot that probe into that asteroid the other day. Almost looks like bad b-movie sci-fi.
Sucks that this isn't bigger more significant news. I mean, we bulls-eyed a moving asteroid and have actual video.
Oh wait, now I remember why...humanity is too busy trying to stop it's own evolution with terrorist bombs and goddamn cross burnings in my hometown
Yes, Goddamn. As in I indeed say God should damn these f#cking idiots.
Sucks that this isn't bigger more significant news. I mean, we bulls-eyed a moving asteroid and have actual video.
Oh wait, now I remember why...humanity is too busy trying to stop it's own evolution with terrorist bombs and goddamn cross burnings in my hometown
Yes, Goddamn. As in I indeed say God should damn these f#cking idiots.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Hey let go of my air!
Man Charged With Stealing Wi-Fi Signal
Ironically enough, while blogging this item, I'm listening to the song 'Stealin' by Uriah Heep.
Ironically enough, while blogging this item, I'm listening to the song 'Stealin' by Uriah Heep.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
A beautiful thing for music fans.
Don't know if you saw the LIve 8 footage (check AOL's music page for streaming reruns of it), but as someone who has listened to a load of Floyd (not nearly as much as you Zac J I admit), I could not get over the absolute complete power of the whole sound with Waters playing the bass lines. You'd think it would be boring as hell hearing the same old tunes again (and just getting off on the reunion aspect), but those tunes sounded amazing. Waters feel on bass was just wonderful. New life into those tunes.
One of those pure diamond unqiue chemistry things. The natural beautiful combination of those 4 guys and how they feel it together is un-equalled. Waters has a slight tug to his bass lines...not so much playing behind the beat, but a gravitational tug where you hear his note a nano-second after the pulse. Its in time, but you hear that bass line and Gilmour's guitar equally. Sonically...Gilmour's lead line is the front guy in the bobsled and Roger is smashed right up behind him with his sonic arms wrapped around Dave's waist, but he's still behind him physcially. Nick the drummer is behind Roger but in the middle centering the weight, acting as anchor, but its acting, not being. He's moving around here and there playing off the other guy's shifting weight ,and Rick the keyboardist is holding onto Nick nice and snug, head down, but kind of yelling for dear life under his breath. You can hear him, but you can ignore it if you want. But if he got quiet, you'd know something was wrong.
Team Floyd be competing at the next winter Olympics by the way.
Laugh all you want at the silliness, Mr. Rooted-for-the-Jamaican-bobsled-team-as-a-Joke.
Eh? EH!?
Don't know if you saw the LIve 8 footage (check AOL's music page for streaming reruns of it), but as someone who has listened to a load of Floyd (not nearly as much as you Zac J I admit), I could not get over the absolute complete power of the whole sound with Waters playing the bass lines. You'd think it would be boring as hell hearing the same old tunes again (and just getting off on the reunion aspect), but those tunes sounded amazing. Waters feel on bass was just wonderful. New life into those tunes.
One of those pure diamond unqiue chemistry things. The natural beautiful combination of those 4 guys and how they feel it together is un-equalled. Waters has a slight tug to his bass lines...not so much playing behind the beat, but a gravitational tug where you hear his note a nano-second after the pulse. Its in time, but you hear that bass line and Gilmour's guitar equally. Sonically...Gilmour's lead line is the front guy in the bobsled and Roger is smashed right up behind him with his sonic arms wrapped around Dave's waist, but he's still behind him physcially. Nick the drummer is behind Roger but in the middle centering the weight, acting as anchor, but its acting, not being. He's moving around here and there playing off the other guy's shifting weight ,and Rick the keyboardist is holding onto Nick nice and snug, head down, but kind of yelling for dear life under his breath. You can hear him, but you can ignore it if you want. But if he got quiet, you'd know something was wrong.
Team Floyd be competing at the next winter Olympics by the way.
Laugh all you want at the silliness, Mr. Rooted-for-the-Jamaican-bobsled-team-as-a-Joke.
Eh? EH!?
Monday, July 04, 2005
Rainy Midnight Drive Home
Perhaps the reason a song becomes popular, or referred to as "great" in mass culture, is because the scope of the song is as big or wide as the default scope of a human being's emotional conciousness. (Doesn't have to be good to be great. 'Great' means it was bigger than usual.)
This is how a song you never liked, preferred, or thought you really enjoyed somehow resonates in you at a later date. Because when you're driving home late thru the rain, sad and depressed about something significant and impactful in your life, the song you always skipped past on the CD (because it was the overkilled "super-single") suddenly is very comforting as it visits you on the radio....somehow at the right time.
Even though, technically, a "right time" should not be possible. You allegedly never liked this song, remember?
Maybe you don't. And maybe that's true.
But the guys in that band sure poured alot of heart and soul into it and it's apparent.
Maybe it's that 'heart and soul' baseline that's become your friend on the ride home.?
Maybe it was always a superb song and you just weren't ready for it when it broke?
These dudes might not be singing 'bout anything remotely close to what I'm going thru, but goddamn I know their feelin' something about their stuff the way I am right now about mine.
This is how a song you never liked, preferred, or thought you really enjoyed somehow resonates in you at a later date. Because when you're driving home late thru the rain, sad and depressed about something significant and impactful in your life, the song you always skipped past on the CD (because it was the overkilled "super-single") suddenly is very comforting as it visits you on the radio....somehow at the right time.
Even though, technically, a "right time" should not be possible. You allegedly never liked this song, remember?
Maybe you don't. And maybe that's true.
But the guys in that band sure poured alot of heart and soul into it and it's apparent.
Maybe it's that 'heart and soul' baseline that's become your friend on the ride home.?
Maybe it was always a superb song and you just weren't ready for it when it broke?
These dudes might not be singing 'bout anything remotely close to what I'm going thru, but goddamn I know their feelin' something about their stuff the way I am right now about mine.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
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Live 8 was a wonderful thing this weekend. I'm proud to say I remember tuning in thru the day of Live Aid back in the day.
What was even cooler about Live 8 was that no one knew it was also a secret public audition/screentest for the villains of the next Batman film...
Chris Martin trying out for 'Riddler'
Good Charlotte guy testing for "The Bratter"
(Toby Maguire is contractually bound to Spiderman, so they got next best looker.)
Bjork auditioning for "HellCat"
Elton showing he's the only one who can play "The Bugger"
Black Eyed Peas just "wants to be da' main bodyguard elite thug squad of whateva' fuck villain they picks mate..."
The producers don't even have a villain for this guy, but goshdamn he looks like someone smart enough to ruin Batman's plans...
Maybe 'Evil Morgan Freeman"?
Billy from Green Day walked in saying "I was BORN to play The Spinal Tapper, you hear me??!! This guitar shoots Death Darts, Lava, and I can fly on it too you cocks."
And of course, like anyone really thought he'd let us down, Stipe came in and, well, ...in underground theater circles, they'd say "He 'Stipe'd it." - nailing the part to the point of the casting director discretely off to the side whispering a phone call to Bellevue for a "special pickup."
Stipe from the audition:
"You see i could have worn a blue doo-rag mask of the same fabric to match my suit, but that wouldn't have expressed the deeper issues of my character's complex persona. He wants to be understood for his evil genius, and by using the exact color facepaint to symbolize, work as, yet not BE a mask, I'm not truly hiding the person underneath with a physical barricade. You see, "BlueQueBallser" is an enigma representing the power of sadness in our modern world and how a sad person can be as powerful in their rage as a mad person. BlueQueBallser will affect change in Gotham oh yes - while the idiot minions of Gotham's "elite" are mesmerized by the MagnaHumongaGiant JumboTron screen playing a looping DVD of R.E.M. videos, I will be underground poisoning the water systems of the entire city by crying my own mutant radiated Death Tears into the water. By the time I'm thru, Gotham will become my own living plaything...the world's biggest city now my own video-making playground of zombie-fied, permanently sad frowned citizen extras, heeding my every direction from atop my flying camera crane. My radiated Death Tears will have triggered the saddest song each person had ever heard in their life to constantly play in their head. Yet regardless of the millions of different songs internally at play, they will all walk in unison pacing among the Gotham streets to my delight!. From my crane I will direct them with my Atomic Bullhorn (with ragged NME sticker on side) to shout blocking moves and directions for which crowds I want to walk off the un-finished highway overpasses to symbolize the doom we ultimately all share. I figure within 3 years of modest (but budget-exploding production costs to bankrupt the city) video making, I will have accomplished my mission. And The Batman will have no one to save except maybe...his own record collecton!!
If he can ..."
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Watch this hilarious commercial campaign with a caveman being the spokeperson for Milk.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Tommy boy
Brooke Shields bitchslaps Cruise back thru the press.
Just you watch...
I bet you an ice cream within a year Katie and Tom split.
Cuz Katie's still working her way to the top of her acting career game, and she's got a team of hired people (her publicist/management/career design team) who are paid big money to help guide her to the top and steer clear of crap that will typecast her or stain her image.
I gurantee you they are freaking out about how bad all this Cruise bad press is damaging their client's career, and pow-wowing over cocktails on Sunset trying to figure out how to break it to a 26 year old American girl that it's actually NOT a good idea to marry Tom Cruise. And at 26, she's gonna bend with it.
The People story she finally admits to in 2.5 years will be admitting that this whole summer of 2005 really crushed their relationship. But until then, in 1 year from now, the reason they split stays hush-hush.
See this movie S.O.B. for great comedy and biting insight into the Hollywood system. It's timeless. A classic. Blake Edwards ("10", Pink Panther movies, "Skin Deep") directed. And also shows Julie "Mary Poppins" Andrews boobs. Seriously.
There it is then...I've become what I hate... a fucking People/Entertainment Weekly industry columnist. Now I just need to get some 2-bit style show to have me be on-camera gossip consultant and review red carpet video of people I never met strolling in gowns and then defer to me on what else I think I think I sort of can't really know yet try to assume and half but double-ey predict barely in a way not to a point beleive I can or can't...know. At times. About some of them. Depending on if I'm on my period that taping and JUST HATE Kirsten Dunst that day for being so goddamn gorgeous in that silk fuscha strapless Carolina Herrera.
OhGod.
Just you watch...
I bet you an ice cream within a year Katie and Tom split.
Cuz Katie's still working her way to the top of her acting career game, and she's got a team of hired people (her publicist/management/career design team) who are paid big money to help guide her to the top and steer clear of crap that will typecast her or stain her image.
I gurantee you they are freaking out about how bad all this Cruise bad press is damaging their client's career, and pow-wowing over cocktails on Sunset trying to figure out how to break it to a 26 year old American girl that it's actually NOT a good idea to marry Tom Cruise. And at 26, she's gonna bend with it.
The People story she finally admits to in 2.5 years will be admitting that this whole summer of 2005 really crushed their relationship. But until then, in 1 year from now, the reason they split stays hush-hush.
See this movie S.O.B. for great comedy and biting insight into the Hollywood system. It's timeless. A classic. Blake Edwards ("10", Pink Panther movies, "Skin Deep") directed. And also shows Julie "Mary Poppins" Andrews boobs. Seriously.
There it is then...I've become what I hate... a fucking People/Entertainment Weekly industry columnist. Now I just need to get some 2-bit style show to have me be on-camera gossip consultant and review red carpet video of people I never met strolling in gowns and then defer to me on what else I think I think I sort of can't really know yet try to assume and half but double-ey predict barely in a way not to a point beleive I can or can't...know. At times. About some of them. Depending on if I'm on my period that taping and JUST HATE Kirsten Dunst that day for being so goddamn gorgeous in that silk fuscha strapless Carolina Herrera.
OhGod.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
"Hey Whitey, where's your hat?!"
Geez...just when you start rooting for the old school humanistic Bono again who seems to have returned to low orbit with the whole Live 8 thing, this kind of crap makes one actually wanna side with Henry Rollins and his "I-wanna-bitchslap-Bono-AND-his-ego"...
Bono suing former U2 stylist for cowboy hat, earrings, and other 'icons' of the band from the Joshua Tree era.
Have another cucumber slices and lowfat ranch sandwich Bono, trot a flag along the front of the stage, sing your ass off, and stop this stuff. Have the mansions gotten THAT boring? I'm tellin ya Paul, it's seeing this kind of crap that makes the Nobel committee nudge your application toward the 'round' file.
Bono suing former U2 stylist for cowboy hat, earrings, and other 'icons' of the band from the Joshua Tree era.
Have another cucumber slices and lowfat ranch sandwich Bono, trot a flag along the front of the stage, sing your ass off, and stop this stuff. Have the mansions gotten THAT boring? I'm tellin ya Paul, it's seeing this kind of crap that makes the Nobel committee nudge your application toward the 'round' file.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Interesting how a certain sentence from Gilmour's press release at www.pinkfloyd.com about Live 8 was omitted when it was ran on the cnn's, yahoo's, or other US news sites when news of Floyd reuniting erupted. But its here on the floyd site:
David Gilmour made the following statement:
“Like most people I want to do everything I can to persuade the G8 leaders to make huge commitments to the relief of poverty and increased aid to the third world. It’s crazy that America gives such a paltry percentage of its GNP to the starving nations. Any squabbles Roger and the band have had in the past are so petty in this context, and if re-forming for this concert will help focus attention then it’s got to be worthwhile.”
And also by the way, Iraq's going just fine. Planet's not getting warmer either. Anyway Mr. Consumer, your life is incomplete unless you have the new Coldplay, ya mutt. And isn't Lindsay Lohan so incredibly interesting??
Meh...
David Gilmour made the following statement:
“Like most people I want to do everything I can to persuade the G8 leaders to make huge commitments to the relief of poverty and increased aid to the third world. It’s crazy that America gives such a paltry percentage of its GNP to the starving nations. Any squabbles Roger and the band have had in the past are so petty in this context, and if re-forming for this concert will help focus attention then it’s got to be worthwhile.”
And also by the way, Iraq's going just fine. Planet's not getting warmer either. Anyway Mr. Consumer, your life is incomplete unless you have the new Coldplay, ya mutt. And isn't Lindsay Lohan so incredibly interesting??
Meh...
Monday, June 27, 2005
"Bat Recall Armed Alfred..."
Ok, I'm calling it;
I think as another homage to the original Batman movies, I think they got the same gossip columnist socialite to be in 'Batman Begins' that was in the others. I was able to find online a character named 'Gossip Gerty' real name Elizabeth Sanders. But she's not credited in Batman Begins yet. She was in the 92, 95, and 97 Batmans.
(The other homage I speak of is when Bale grabbed Falconi and did the classic 'grab'em-by-the-lapels and give an in-the-face "I'M BATMAN!" Or is that a comic thing and I'm only an average geek?)
Remember how at every Wayne manor party or society function there'd be that annoying woman who grab Bruce Wayn'es arms and exclaim how "he MUST meet so&so", (usually the villain not in villain-dress). Kind of funny if you think of it in a cultural impact sense...it's gossip columnists at society functions who hook the bad guys up with the good guys.
When the woman who introduced Wayne back to Liam Neeson did that, her voice sounded the same and she looks like an older version of the 90's Batman woman now.
I'm calling it. I think it's the same chick.
I think as another homage to the original Batman movies, I think they got the same gossip columnist socialite to be in 'Batman Begins' that was in the others. I was able to find online a character named 'Gossip Gerty' real name Elizabeth Sanders. But she's not credited in Batman Begins yet. She was in the 92, 95, and 97 Batmans.
(The other homage I speak of is when Bale grabbed Falconi and did the classic 'grab'em-by-the-lapels and give an in-the-face "I'M BATMAN!" Or is that a comic thing and I'm only an average geek?)
Remember how at every Wayne manor party or society function there'd be that annoying woman who grab Bruce Wayn'es arms and exclaim how "he MUST meet so&so", (usually the villain not in villain-dress). Kind of funny if you think of it in a cultural impact sense...it's gossip columnists at society functions who hook the bad guys up with the good guys.
When the woman who introduced Wayne back to Liam Neeson did that, her voice sounded the same and she looks like an older version of the 90's Batman woman now.
I'm calling it. I think it's the same chick.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Here we go
Here comes Big Brother.
(Public surveillance cams to catch bad guys.) But ONLY bad guys. Really. Seriously. Just ask the police.
It's this bit that scares me:
"The crime rates in Chicago are the lowest in 40 years. The price of keeping the community safe far outweighs civil liberty issues," Bond said.
Ah...more security vs. freedom stuff.
If you ever wanna read a great book about society and privacy going by-bye, read this one:
The Light Of Other Days.
These guys invent a device that can open up a wormhole window anywhere, anytime. Plug in the coordinates and you can essentially open up the equivalent of a Quicktime VR panaromama view anywhere. So as this device gets used (and controlled by the government of course), the truth can be found out about anything. So as privacy becomes exinct as anyone can be seen doing anything anywhere, the book's description on how people and society start living their lives is really fascinating. Like how would your life really change if you knew that at any given moment, people are watching you? How that impacts your life and mental state. Discretion goes away as there's no need. Will you actually stop having sex, going to the toilet, getting undressed, picking your nose, talking about anything important or secretive?
And the other cool part is that the device gets tweeked to be able to look back in time. And they keep going farther and farther, seeing what REALLY happened in history, not what the writers said, but seeing what went down. So that impacts the world huge and upsets deeply ingrained cultural belief systems and such. Seeing how Jesus looked and really died. And farther to when man was evolving. And to when Earth was cooling. Begs the question of how much people would want to know. It's safer psychologically to stay in your comfort zone.
The book's a trip.
(Public surveillance cams to catch bad guys.) But ONLY bad guys. Really. Seriously. Just ask the police.
It's this bit that scares me:
"The crime rates in Chicago are the lowest in 40 years. The price of keeping the community safe far outweighs civil liberty issues," Bond said.
Ah...more security vs. freedom stuff.
If you ever wanna read a great book about society and privacy going by-bye, read this one:
The Light Of Other Days.
These guys invent a device that can open up a wormhole window anywhere, anytime. Plug in the coordinates and you can essentially open up the equivalent of a Quicktime VR panaromama view anywhere. So as this device gets used (and controlled by the government of course), the truth can be found out about anything. So as privacy becomes exinct as anyone can be seen doing anything anywhere, the book's description on how people and society start living their lives is really fascinating. Like how would your life really change if you knew that at any given moment, people are watching you? How that impacts your life and mental state. Discretion goes away as there's no need. Will you actually stop having sex, going to the toilet, getting undressed, picking your nose, talking about anything important or secretive?
And the other cool part is that the device gets tweeked to be able to look back in time. And they keep going farther and farther, seeing what REALLY happened in history, not what the writers said, but seeing what went down. So that impacts the world huge and upsets deeply ingrained cultural belief systems and such. Seeing how Jesus looked and really died. And farther to when man was evolving. And to when Earth was cooling. Begs the question of how much people would want to know. It's safer psychologically to stay in your comfort zone.
The book's a trip.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
While driving the other night STILL hauling things back and from from the old house to the new, I suddenly recalled this quote by the author Ayn Rand for some reason:
"Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed."
She used to use this in regards to her writings on Environmentalism and such. But it wasn't till this day that I thought of it as applied to human nature too.
If you think about it, it's the foundation of psychology and self-help as well as landscape and architecture. (And yet again, my keen fascination and constant epiphanies with how (IMO) literal physics is the same as psycho-emotional physics is refreshed.) Sorry folks...some poeple see colors when they hear sounds, some people feel the energies of people and locales, some people smoke dope and go with their afghan and they're just part of the gang... I keep seeing these 'physics relationships' between tangible materials and human nature.
If you're gonna build on something, you must make sure the foundation is solid and you have to work with the laws of the land's nature, or, you're own inner landscape and it's strengths or weaknesses befoe you build on it. Whether a piece of land, or some life goal.
If you wanna change your attitude, or stop smoking for example, to command your own intrinsic nature, you must first obey it - by understanding how and why it does what it does. Only then can you learn to refine, repair, or upgrade it.
Meh... anyway.
I gotta get this house unpacked.
(10 fake referred-to-only-in-text dollars for anyone who can name the movie the afghan quote is from.)
"Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed."
She used to use this in regards to her writings on Environmentalism and such. But it wasn't till this day that I thought of it as applied to human nature too.
If you think about it, it's the foundation of psychology and self-help as well as landscape and architecture. (And yet again, my keen fascination and constant epiphanies with how (IMO) literal physics is the same as psycho-emotional physics is refreshed.) Sorry folks...some poeple see colors when they hear sounds, some people feel the energies of people and locales, some people smoke dope and go with their afghan and they're just part of the gang... I keep seeing these 'physics relationships' between tangible materials and human nature.
If you're gonna build on something, you must make sure the foundation is solid and you have to work with the laws of the land's nature, or, you're own inner landscape and it's strengths or weaknesses befoe you build on it. Whether a piece of land, or some life goal.
If you wanna change your attitude, or stop smoking for example, to command your own intrinsic nature, you must first obey it - by understanding how and why it does what it does. Only then can you learn to refine, repair, or upgrade it.
Meh... anyway.
I gotta get this house unpacked.
(10 fake referred-to-only-in-text dollars for anyone who can name the movie the afghan quote is from.)
Friday, June 24, 2005
Sorry for lack of updates for those who check this. I moved last weekend and its been a crazy cluttered, chaotic mess of a time.
I'll use my good fallback Carlin desk calendar for some quick comedy:
"If free trade can really turn all these Third World countries into thriving economies full of entrepreneurs and investors, who's gonna clean the toilets around here?"
Ouch.
"One of the more embarassing strains of American thought is the liberal-humanist, touchy-feely, warm and fuzzy, New Age, environmental-friendly pseudo-wisdom that appears on bumper stickers: "Think Globally, Act Locally," and most embarassing, "Practice Random Kindess and Senseless Acts of Beauty." You know, if kindness and beauty require public reminders, maybe it's time we just throw in the jock."
Now that's what I call Old School Grumpy.
I'll use my good fallback Carlin desk calendar for some quick comedy:
"If free trade can really turn all these Third World countries into thriving economies full of entrepreneurs and investors, who's gonna clean the toilets around here?"
Ouch.
"One of the more embarassing strains of American thought is the liberal-humanist, touchy-feely, warm and fuzzy, New Age, environmental-friendly pseudo-wisdom that appears on bumper stickers: "Think Globally, Act Locally," and most embarassing, "Practice Random Kindess and Senseless Acts of Beauty." You know, if kindness and beauty require public reminders, maybe it's time we just throw in the jock."
Now that's what I call Old School Grumpy.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Hell my name is your name here and I have a special offer for you.
I'm laughing at myself (as well as my coworker) because these words violently broke the office's silence as they came out of my mouth quite angrily and idignantly as I read about new cd releases today:
"What the hell is this 'Essential Hall & Oates??!, I just f%ckin' bought the 'Ultimate Hall & Oates!..."
Essential
http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:cyx8b5z4xsq0~T00
Ultimate
http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:qyf6zfs3eh3k~T00
Super Ultimate
Yeah, I'm a little mad right now.
****************
****************
My god this is funny.
"What the hell is this 'Essential Hall & Oates??!, I just f%ckin' bought the 'Ultimate Hall & Oates!..."
Essential
http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:cyx8b5z4xsq0~T00
Ultimate
http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:qyf6zfs3eh3k~T00
Super Ultimate
Yeah, I'm a little mad right now.
****************
****************
My god this is funny.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Coolest Monday in a awhile
"Awright, o-right, o-right!"
-McConaughey from 'Dazed & Confused'.
(This is the kind of stuff I'd do/host if I was a celebrity with time on my hands.)
"Absolute Evel: The Evel Knievel Story" (8 p.m., History Channel). Motorcycle madman. Matthew McConaughey hosts this documentary portrait of famed daredevil Evel Knievel, a colorful, cantankerous maverick who offers comments on his various crazy stunts and motorcycle jumps. And that includes Knievel's infamously botched 1974 attempt to leap the Snake River Canyon in Idaho. Oops
*******************
Pink Floyd reunite for Live 8.
Yes, all four.
*******************
Wow.
Madonna finally figured out that there's more to life than exploring her sexuality in front of the world.
This calls for a great rapid-fire montage of every time she scolded Kurt Loder in MTV interviews over the years with come-hither eyes as she would verbally bitch-slap him for even considering questioning her sexual personae and it's role in her publicity strategies. While dressed in whatever slut motif that tied into the new album design-wise.
But what do I know, I just watched MTV and believed it all like a good 80s boy. As long as Prince and Madonna's tunes were making my girlfriend frisky, I was a happy boy-toy.
AARRGH! She's brainwashing me again!!!.."
******************
I wrote this about the Pink Floyd reunion thing today:
Nick Mason's cool new book about the Floyd has a postscript in it that said it's probably not possible they'd reunite. Key members of the PF team like manager Steve O Rourke has died, and Storm Thorgeson the art director is ailing. So even though the 4 main guys are ok, in their world the PF machine is not what it was.
But...then Geldof comes and saves the day.
I think PF will get it together. Extremely slowly. A few one-off shows, maybe writing together as a lark to see what happens. I think they'll have to convince themselves tangibly that what they already know ("we're too old to be stupid and petty anymore") can be applied to working together. I think their concience and whatnot would only allow them to do something very real and worthy. Especially with Roger. So maybe in 3-4 years I'd expect a tour. A real tour behind a real album. It would have to be legit in Roger's mind. As much as I think he's grown and mellowed and wisened, his integrity has always been there.
And to be honest, I think the other guys would be fine with getting in the studio and letting the old dynamic (sans fighting) take hold - which means following Roger's lead and supporting a bold vision he gets excited about.
In other words, I think Dave, Nick, and Rick could give a shit about "supporting" Roger, or being thought of as his sidemen. I would hope age, death, family, (and being huge millionaries) would comfortably allow them to be cool with the fact that letting Roger's vision (delivered with the abilities and understanding of the other guys) is what makes PF special and unique. And I would hope Roger understands that in a compasionate, un-arrogant way too. It's a synergy and symbiosis that simply works well. His message delivers in no better way than with those 3 guys providing the bricks and mortar to his blueprints. (it seems to me).
And those 3 guys "get it" more than they have the burn to create it themselves. Its obvious by their output. (And being filthy rich). So let the beauty exist. Let go of the ego and competition. The world already knows their geniuses, they've only read it about themselves for 40 years now. What's left to accomplish except putting good music and message to the world?
Maybe O' Rourke's spirit is subversively engineering his mates into resolvving such a feud.? If anyone would really know the scoop of that inner PF dynamic and know the good it would bring, it's that guy. Managing this from the grave.
Maybe they call it "from the grave" because it's so gravely serious, a dead person has to dip back into this plane to make it happen? Obviously us silly humans couldn't get our heads out da butts.
-McConaughey from 'Dazed & Confused'.
(This is the kind of stuff I'd do/host if I was a celebrity with time on my hands.)
"Absolute Evel: The Evel Knievel Story" (8 p.m., History Channel). Motorcycle madman. Matthew McConaughey hosts this documentary portrait of famed daredevil Evel Knievel, a colorful, cantankerous maverick who offers comments on his various crazy stunts and motorcycle jumps. And that includes Knievel's infamously botched 1974 attempt to leap the Snake River Canyon in Idaho. Oops
*******************
Pink Floyd reunite for Live 8.
Yes, all four.
*******************
Wow.
Madonna finally figured out that there's more to life than exploring her sexuality in front of the world.
This calls for a great rapid-fire montage of every time she scolded Kurt Loder in MTV interviews over the years with come-hither eyes as she would verbally bitch-slap him for even considering questioning her sexual personae and it's role in her publicity strategies. While dressed in whatever slut motif that tied into the new album design-wise.
But what do I know, I just watched MTV and believed it all like a good 80s boy. As long as Prince and Madonna's tunes were making my girlfriend frisky, I was a happy boy-toy.
AARRGH! She's brainwashing me again!!!.."
******************
I wrote this about the Pink Floyd reunion thing today:
Nick Mason's cool new book about the Floyd has a postscript in it that said it's probably not possible they'd reunite. Key members of the PF team like manager Steve O Rourke has died, and Storm Thorgeson the art director is ailing. So even though the 4 main guys are ok, in their world the PF machine is not what it was.
But...then Geldof comes and saves the day.
I think PF will get it together. Extremely slowly. A few one-off shows, maybe writing together as a lark to see what happens. I think they'll have to convince themselves tangibly that what they already know ("we're too old to be stupid and petty anymore") can be applied to working together. I think their concience and whatnot would only allow them to do something very real and worthy. Especially with Roger. So maybe in 3-4 years I'd expect a tour. A real tour behind a real album. It would have to be legit in Roger's mind. As much as I think he's grown and mellowed and wisened, his integrity has always been there.
And to be honest, I think the other guys would be fine with getting in the studio and letting the old dynamic (sans fighting) take hold - which means following Roger's lead and supporting a bold vision he gets excited about.
In other words, I think Dave, Nick, and Rick could give a shit about "supporting" Roger, or being thought of as his sidemen. I would hope age, death, family, (and being huge millionaries) would comfortably allow them to be cool with the fact that letting Roger's vision (delivered with the abilities and understanding of the other guys) is what makes PF special and unique. And I would hope Roger understands that in a compasionate, un-arrogant way too. It's a synergy and symbiosis that simply works well. His message delivers in no better way than with those 3 guys providing the bricks and mortar to his blueprints. (it seems to me).
And those 3 guys "get it" more than they have the burn to create it themselves. Its obvious by their output. (And being filthy rich). So let the beauty exist. Let go of the ego and competition. The world already knows their geniuses, they've only read it about themselves for 40 years now. What's left to accomplish except putting good music and message to the world?
Maybe O' Rourke's spirit is subversively engineering his mates into resolvving such a feud.? If anyone would really know the scoop of that inner PF dynamic and know the good it would bring, it's that guy. Managing this from the grave.
Maybe they call it "from the grave" because it's so gravely serious, a dead person has to dip back into this plane to make it happen? Obviously us silly humans couldn't get our heads out da butts.
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