Hearing that Green Day's new concert DVD movie is being screened in theaters across the country this week one night, the thought came to me...

Won't it be cool when in another 20 years when the "stolen" home sex video of 2024's "Pam & Tommy"-esque celeb couple will probably be an ad before the movie you go see? Live feeds from hospitals around the world, you can be watching the Gone With The Wind 100 anniversary theater screening and some baby popping out of Madonna's daughter cuts in on widescreen glory. Cuz People and Us Weekly will own and operate anything that recorded or photographed anything, including it's delivery systems. People will own Einstein's light.

People will own Einstein's light.
I think I muttered that passed out and seatbelted in upright in a the backseat of '87 Chevette during a drinking night in high school. While my friends went bowling. No, wait. I muttered "I go Bob Brant college..." That was after I drunkenly sauntered around the McDonal's drivethru lane (next to the bowling alley), to go lay over the back tailfin of a parked car opposite of the drivethru window (and the headset wearing crews watching me.) Then I puked my brains out while they hurriedly shut the order window screaming "Eeewwww!". Yes, I gave them the ol' Caddyshack "Spalding" treatment, like when he puked in the Doctor's Porsche.

After that is when I got secured in the car.