Almooost theeere...

Today's the last day of March, get some while it's hot...




***********

Hyph go da weasel cuz' da weasel go HYPH!"
I'm finding myself "goin' retro" lately with using hyphens in phone numbers again (313-555-9999) rather than the internet/email/I.P. era "." between them that I started doing years ago. 212.555.

It's no Miller trucker hat, or Atari iron t-shirt, but I'm tryin.


***********

Really fun UK commercials for Skittles gum.

wa wa wa Wednesday

I think this urban remake of the Honeymooners just might work. Like in a "Grumpy Old Men" kinda way; funny goofy guys getting into trouble. Cedric as a black Ralph Kramden comes off pretty good (from this trailer at least.)

Thanks Easter Bunny...BAWK! BAWK!

The best part is I don't even have to explain it:
www.leiasmetalbikini.com

*********

Then there's this guy's home-built Solar Death Ray.

*********

Going for the 3, we'll merge Star Wars and radial destruction together with me telling you how awesome this new Star Wars Republic Commando game is. I played a level of it over the weekend on my Xbox. It's like Halo, but you're leading a crack squad of Clone Trooper commandos running around, blowing up stuff. And to be honest, the battle droids actually seem intimidating and cool in this game. I think the computer dudes drew them better and bulked them up. You'd think leading 3 other dudes and remembering the commands and button combos to remember what thing does what to make who go where would be a jones and frustration, but it's really user-friendly/you pick it up quick. Sweet visuals too.

One of the coolest things is when you get walloped by something, or almost killed. ('Incapacitated' the game calls it) Your 1st person p.o.v gets blurry and dizzy looking thru your helmet visor as you lay wherever you went down. You can move your head slowly, still seeing this acid-trip like visual of the action still around you. It's really cool when you see your squadmates kneel over you and talk to you while reviving you (then they may turn for a sec to blast something coming at both of you.) Then you get up and there's this woozy vertigo moment where you regain your balance for a second before getting your posture and facilities back. The screen sways and swoons aruond a bit. Sounds simple, but you have to see it. The programmers did it just right inducing that "coming to" feeling in the game viewer.

I'm no hardcore gamer and I'm sure some other game did this years ago, but I'm just saying, it's pretty damn cool and well done in this one too.

Why am I defending myself to you?

Geez, sorry so long since

Been out of town in Dallas, walking around where Kennedy was shot and enjoying wearing shorts in March.

*******

This takes ya back...

My oldest friend, Star Wars Mike, so named because of his massively impressive collection of mint-condition sci-fi merchandise toys (especially Star Wars), his wife Melissa teaches elementary school, 6th graders. Every semester they do a project where part of the process is watching a movie on the subject as a treat afterwards, to see about what they learned from the books (and have fun.) They learn about dinosaurs, they watched Jurassic Park, learn about the Titanic, watch Titanic. And talk about the differences and what they noticed in the movie from their studies.

Well lo and behold, this semster the project was on folklore and mythology and the kids got to watch the Star Wars trilogy. Mike and I were chomping at the bit to go to her class one day and play 'Stump the Old Nerds' with the kids. Many of these kids never saw the original trilogy. So as the kids have watched it, Melissa emails us questions the kids came up with (very sharp ones at that) that we'd ponder and answer back. Questions I think Lucas would even stop and wonder "Hmm...kid's right. That don't make sense."

Aaaaaaanyway... They finished the trilogy. Melissa sent us an email sharing the answers her kids gave about what their favorite parts were. It's like the sci-fi version of how kids are pretty pure and honest with their feelings.;

"My favorite part of any of the movies is when Luke fights Darth Vader at
Cloud City..."

"Episode 4 when the first Death Star is blown up by Luke."

"My favorite part was when Yoda trained Luke because Yoda is my favorite
character."

"My favorite part in the movies is when Luke takes off Vader's mask and Luke
said, "I must save you," and Vader said, "You already have...""

"I liked all of the battles."

"I liked the part where Darth Vader and Luke make peace."

"My favorite part is the ending of Return of the Jedi. You can see Yoda,
Obi-Wan and Anakin all together, and you can tell they are proud of Luke."

"I like at the end when the Emperor was torturing Luke and Darth Vader kept
looking back at the emperor and then at Luke again and again until he
finally picked up the emperor and threw him in the hole. I was happy he
turned good again."

"I liked when the Ewoks thought that C-3PO was a god."

"I liked all of the action with the light sabers."

"My favorite part was where Darth saved Luke and Luke carried Darth through
the space station to safety. (kind made me get a little teary.)"

*Melissa's giving extra credit to kids who watch Episodes I and II over Easter and write up questions about it tying it into the original trilogy.

Life is Good.

Fried-day

The two best lines uttered today at work, provoking hails of laughter:


"Well enough about me, let's hear you talk about me."
- Jokingly said by Mike during a meeting when topics shifted.

"Thank God he didn't ask me anything more. My brain just shut down, there was no more, I blew my conversation wad..."
- A massively hungover-on-a-Friday Steve describing his near career crash&burn conversation with a higher-up, who surpise-ambushed him with priority questions regarding a major account.


I love Life.

Good words

Words of Robert Fripp, guitarist/leader of King Crimson, from a roundtable discussion he sat in back in 1982. Someone on the panel mentioned they were a law student and the discussion later touched on corruption in politics and law:

"When legal firms in the process of law have little or no regard for either the provision of justice nor the establishment of truth, ordinary people will seek natural justice in their own way. This is dangerous. Since legal institutions are not concerned with either the provision of justice nor the establishment of truth, let us sound this as a warning.

When political institutions lack credibility and belief, when legal institutions lack credibility and belief, when financial institutions have been distrusted, the last remaining pillar of the culture of a society, in my view, is our artists. Now at the point at which an artist will lie to their public for money, the civilisation has just died. So, ask yourself this question: did John Lennon lie to you for money? Did Jimi Hendrix lie to you for money? Did Dylan lie to you for money? And go down the top twenty albums, and ask: which one of these singers sings to me true, despite any financial or other pressure made upon them? You might be as concerned and worried as I am. Because if you don't provide me with justice, nor tell me the truth, I will seek justice and truth in my own way, and that will necessarily be outside the process of law. And that is dangerous."

*************

I smile-frowned in a skeptical "Hmmm" at this description of a new soul diva on iTunes. A free download 'Single of The Week' at iTunes. The wording didn't really make me think "Now THIS sounds like something different!"

It's rare to find an unsigned R&B artist with the same skill and quality of today's top-shelf urban acts. The flavored skills from newcomer TaMara on "What We Shared" make her the exception. The R&B chanteuse tells her man how it's gonna be on this funky track with her straight up vocals over some excellent '70s-vintage Wah-Wah scratch guitar and a big bass beat."

But I must say I downloaded it and it is a nice little groove. The pocket and Wah-Wah guitar is more sneak thru the alley up to the bad guys/paying a visit to Huggy Bear than it is highway car chase/hanging on to the car hood to not the bad guys get away.

Bonham!

Drummer John Bonham, of Led Zeppelin fame; think about what he sounds like, his drum sound, the way he hits, the power. His name sounds like how he drums. Say it with me kids: "BONHAM!" [BA-NUM]

Let's have more fun with the Drumset Haiku Translator:
Those phat thundering tom-tom triplets he rips at the end of 'Stairway':
"Hidderit-da, Hitterit-da, Hitterit-da, Hitterit-da Hittera-BOP!"

The solo fill at the end of "Rock 'n Roll":
BA-DOP!
vlaROP boom DOP boom DOP Dadaboom ba-
Bidderit-da!
Bitterit-da!
Bitterit-da!
Bitterit-da!
Bitterit-da!
Bitterit-da!
gooodalaHROP gooodalaHROP TOP
TOP TOP Huddalaroom...

Boosh.

It ain't a Dead Sea Scroll transciption, but hey.


************

Speaking of beautiful things, this morning I enjoyed the 2nd half of Fat Bottom Girls enroute to McD's for a pre-work breakfast burrito, and while waiting in the drivethru, was bestowed with the majesty of 'Lick It Up'.

That song could be used in physics and art seminars to explain perfect composition. It's a diamond edition Lexus of Big Party Pop Rock. The balance, the integrity, there's no waste in its structure. It's a 3 minute audio science fair. From the mix to Paul Stanley's howls, it's perfect in every way for what it's designed to be and do for its intended recipients.

It won't win the Nobel, but neither did the can opener. When the alien armada sifts thru what they anniolated to colonize this planet and find the buried canisters of film and audio masters in those Kansas vault mines, they'll hear LIU and say "this works." Because it truly does.

Wouldn't it be funny, if like in Demolition Man with Taco Bell being the finest and only dining experience on Earth in the future, the alien armada picked up the LIU canister instead of the Mozart one? They go to grab the Mozart, but a rat scuttles out from under it, so they blast it, thereby forgetting what original canister they went to grab. So they grab the LIU and thus institute the music of KISS as the planet's most holy and sacred form of music in some kind of retro-homage to the cultures who once lived here.

The beauty is they won't have to sculpt their own statues of Gene Simmons to erect in the Temple. They'll just U-Haul over the ones from Gene's mansion he had made of himself in the late 70s.

And yet again, Gene Wins.

Bastard!

March Through The Snow

The Real British spy stuff that inspired James Bond

************

Senator: Decency Rules Should Apply to Pay TV, Radio
Hey Senator, since it's PAY TV and Radio, and it's been taken off the FREE channels that the kids have access to, maybe your tactic of paying off your brats to stay out of the cigar parlor should be re-examined so they can't use that money to see the indecency. God forbid you protect your own kids before "protecting" everyone else's. Yeah I'm generalizing, but this shit pisses me off.

************

The new 2-minute Star Wars Episode III trailer starts showing March 9th.

************

Check out how sweet Apple's new iChatAV video chat is in the next OS they are set to unleash, codenamed 'Tiger'. Notice the reflections of the people who are video conferencing on the "floor" of the chat area.

************
So this past Saturday at 3am I'm pulling up in my driveway, home from a hang with some friends. CBC RadioTwo is playing this jzzzJAM! that bound me inside the car. I went inside after, booted up the computer to see the playlist (CBC does an awesome job of showing you what's being played) and learned it was this Bootsy Collins/Bernie Worrel tune from the soundtrack to a documentary about the Moog keyboard. The song is called 'When Bernie Speaks' and Glory B, the fonk was indeed on Bootsee. I highly recommend acquiring this song, you can get it for a buck from iTunes Music Store, just look up the Moog soundtrack.

Fyi, Bernie Worrel was the black guy playing guitar and dancing along in the Talking Head's 'Stop Making Sense' concert film. He's played with all the greats who could jam. And of course you know who Bootsy is.


************
My Carlin desk calendar today:
" People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think."

Good article

A '75 Flashback for Digital Music
Wall Street Journal
February 28, 2005

The digital-music revolution proceeds apace, with all its associated
wonders. But oddly, in one sense the music of 2005 feels like 1975.

Back before the original incarnation of MTV -- an age in which the Walkman
was gaped at like the black monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey -- one of the
great mysterious music moments was finding out what that band with the new
song stuck in your head or climbing the pop charts looked like. If you were
a kid, this revelation often came through a peek at an older brother or
sister's Rolling Stone or People, staying up late to see Saturday Night Live
or Don Kirshner's Rock Concert, or going to the mall and staring up at the
records in the new-release racks.

However you got to this point, the reaction was usually the same: "That's
what Fleetwood Mac look like? No way!" Jace can't ever remember a band
looking like he'd thought they would, and the disparity between reality and
what he'd imagined was often startling, to say the least.

After MTV became a phenomenon in the early 1980s, this "no way" moment
basically ceased to exist for popular acts: For more than a decade, to hear
Madonna, Def Leppard, Duran Duran and other artists of that time was to see
them, too -- and many a music fan had the odd experience of realizing some
new hit songs just weren't as compelling on the radio or on the stereo,
which stripped them of their accompanying videos.

What changed? The biggest thing was that MTV and VH1 cut back dramatically
on the number of videos they played, finding they got better ratings and
more attention for game shows like "Singled Out" and reality numbers like
"Real World" and "Newlyweds." Today, there are video channels such as the
Fuse and the just-relaunched MTV2 trying to fill the music-television niche
that MTV once owned. But for whatever reason, none of them has achieved the
reach or importance that MTV had -- and that's meant that for many, popular
musicians are once again heard rather than seen.

Oddly, the other factor in reducing musicians' visual presence has been the
Internet itself -- and it's reduced it in ways that 1975's music fans would
find startling, despite the fact that they rarely if ever saw a video.

1975 was the age of the LP, which meant umpteen hours of poring over album
art, lyrics, liner notes and whatever else came with a favorite record -- a
process generally begun even before LP hit turntable, as you tried to puzzle
out which songs would be good based on lyrics and titles alone. (Supergeeks
of a certain age will even remember that you could get some idea of a song's
sound by looking at how dense the grooves within the track were. A long,
basically blank stretch within a track meant trouble, particularly if it was
part of a bloated rock opera with passages marked in Roman numerals. We mean
you, Rush.)

One thing that drives CD haters particularly insane is the way standard CD
packaging crunched artwork and accompanying material down to a much-smaller
footprint. But at least that material still existed -- with digital
downloads, the most you typically get is a small image of the album cover
displayed when your jukebox software plays that album's songs. With digital
downloads, album art is now barely bigger than a postage stamp, and liner
notes and lyrics are basically gone.

Yes, some artists and labels have tried to present that material in
different ways -- download U2's "How to Dismantle an Atom Bomb," for
instance, and you'll get the contents of the CD booklet as a PDF. But as
with many efforts to read for pleasure in the digital age, sitting in an
office chair scrolling and magnifying PDFs is a far cry from sprawling on
the rec-room couch with an album jacket. (This is even worse for jazz buffs:
Jazz albums actually have liner notes with something to say.)

But wait, you say -- virtually every band with a record deal now has its own
Web site. Try that in 1975!

True -- today anybody with a Web browser can dive into a new band's bio,
discography and photos with a few mouse clicks, and more and more bands
offer sample MP3s and other goodies. But the difference is that's material
you have to go out and get -- it doesn't come to you the way MTV did. Does
that matter? It may: For many people, music is something they absorb while
doing something else, rather than something they actively want to interact
with.

It'll be years until we know what, if anything, this loss of visuals will
mean for bands trying to forge their own identities in an increasingly
fragmented, winner-take-all music world. In the meantime, as listeners we're
probably even worse at deciphering lyrics than we used to be. And those of
us of a certain age may find ourselves in a time warp, saying things we
thought we'd said for the last time back in the Reagan administration:
"That's what the Killers look like? No way!"

http://online.wsj.com/articles/real_time

For Whom The Shmuck Tolls

Today's Carlin calendar entry:
"As you swim the river of life, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path."

***********

Some good cartoons about the NHL season being cancelled.

***********

Korn's guitarist finds God, leaves band.
Good for him, and fuck the "fans" who give him shit for letting go of anger in his life. You know the ones...they also hate Hetfield for saving his own life.

I know what you might be thinking but, see, this Blog is how I AM letting go of anger.

***********

Michael was trying to figure out what to wear to court when this was taken:

You Know You're An Old Detroiter If

...You took a "moonlight cruise" to Bob-Lo with Captain Bob-Lo
or went to Edgewater Amusement Park.

.....You shopped at Hughes and Hatcher, B Siegel, Peck and Peck,
Himelhoch's, Robert Hall, Crowley's, Shoppers Fair, EJ Korvettes or
Federals.

.....You rode the elevator at J. L. Hudson's, which was "run" by an elevator operator.

.....You remember a Winkleman's and Sanders store in your neighborhood.

.....You remember the "Big Snow", Buffalo Bob, Howdy Doody, Clarabelle,
Phineas T.Bluster, Princess Summer-Fall-Winter-Spring.

.....You remember Twin Pines Dairy delivered milk and juice to the chute on
the side of your house and Milky the Clown performed magic with the magic
words "Twin Pines."

.....You remember the Good Humor man in a white uniform, ringing the bells
as he drove down your street.

.....You remember Olympia Stadium.

.....You remember when Vernors was made on Woodward Ave., and a bearded
troll was on the bottle.

.....Your Mom got groceries at Great Scott, Food Fair, Wrigley's or Chatham.

.....Your Mom saved Holden Red Stamps, S&H Green stamps, or Gold Bell Gift
stamps, and you licked them into those little books.

.....Kresge's and Woolworth's were "Dime Stores."

.....You had an uncle in the furniture business (Joshua Door).

.....You know who Bill Kennedy is. (Channel 50's "1 o'clock Movie")

.....You saw the Detroit Lions play football in Tiger Stadium.

.....You remember Black Bart and the Faygo song. Or how about "Which way did
he go? He went for Faygo, old fashion root beer."

.....You watched Rita Bell's! prize movies in the morning.

.....You remember Jack LeGoff and Van Patrick.

.....You remember Milky the Clown,
Soupy Sales, Johnny Ginger, Poopdeck Paul, Captain Jolly, Sagebrush Shorty
and maybe even Sergeant Satko Salute.

.....You visited the Wonder Bread Bakery and got to take home a mini loaf of
bread.

....! .Your address had a two-digit "zone" before there were zip codes.
Detroit 19, Michigan.

.....You remember "Get on the right track at 9 mile and Mack, to get the
best deal in town. Roy O'Brien...it's the best deal in town."

.....You remember a laundry chute, milk chute and a coal chute.

.....You remember going to Detroit Edison with your Mom to exchange burned
out light bulbs for new ones.

Send in the Drones

Radio frequency i.d. badges to track students in school


God forbid the teachers shut the door and take attendance. I guess they're too busy to take attendance and look the kids in the eye. Maybe that's the idea? Less personal contact and personal accountability accountability (let the PDA track it) inhibits teachers getting to know who they're students are, becoming attracted to them, then sleeping with them. Think I'm stretching? They wanna cancel SpongeBob and Teletubbies because they're "too gay". And when one drunk idiot rides the JetSki up the lakefront lawn killing a picnic'ing 6 year-old, the Safety Police want to no one to ride jet ski's anymore, ever.

Thanks World

We genetically mutate tomatoes to repel insects naturally, and tolerate striving Super Parents wanting to pick a designer baby fetus, but we never hear about scientists wanting to genetically engineer the ASSHOLE GENE out of the world's DNA, do we?

Thieves Steal Consumer Info Database

Makes me remember asking my very sharp and hip Aunt Nancy, a retired Vice President of a Toledo Bank thru the 70s,80s,90s about why she doesn't do email and the like. Her answer was "because I read '1984' darling. Just you watch."
Funny...on 'Law & Order: Criminal Intent" Sunday night, one of the detective characters commented that he "had read the Patriot Act in its original form..."1984".

Well shit...if I don't go for the '3', I'll let everybody down, now won't I...


Eh?? Get it?? 1984...? Eh??

Meh!...

***********
Colin Farrel and Jamie Foxx are the leads in the Miami Vice movie remake.

This will probably be kickass. Rather than be a funny Ben Stiller-ish sendoff, Michael Mann, who originally wrote and directed Vice in the 80s, then directed 'Thief', 'Heat', and 'Collateral', is writing and directing this movie. So the Slick and Grit will be On I must say. This will be a great flick to get the Bro's out together for a movie night and beers afterwards. Like when ya rally up for a new Bond flick.

And thus rightly so the question is: how updated, or old-school'd, or completely forgotten will the opening credit sequence be in relation to the classic 80s show?

Vica-WIN!

Sorry such lame blogging lately. Been prepping for the hernia operation I had today. A return visit to the same spot I had one operated on in 1990. It sucked. The last time hurt so bad, because somehow the procedure left me feeling like someone put a C-clamp on one of my boys. Like Bigfoot, Thor, and the gunnery sargent from Full Metal Jacket spent 3 hours each kicking me in the groin.


(Btw, those 3 will be singing the TV postcard Christmas Carol on SNL next season. Just you watch.)


This time I'm just sore as hell, walking hunched over like an old man. Very slowly and with pain. Like Han after Vader sizzle-tortured him in Cloud City and Leia had to help him get to the wallslab bunk. Vicodin is my new friend, and what a sweet, cozy warm, silly friend he is. When the high school drama teacher asks people to imagine they’re a rug, or a plant as an acting exercise...Vicodin allows me to win an Oscar for ‘Best ‘Coziest Flannel-Douvais’d Down Comforter.”

I wanna punch the surgeon who did my last hernia. I have NONE of the ‘c-clamp on a nut’ pain I did last time. Just the triple jalapeno Dorito-ian Xtreme raw soreness where the work was done. Makes me wonder what the hell that last guy did to give me quadruple the pain last time. I guess he just sucked.

There was two pains – the hernia pain, and the ‘pinched nut in a vice’ feeling. #2 is gone, the boys feel totally fine. Just feels like a wolverine bit a grapefruit-sized chunk out of me where your front hip bone protrudes.

So I'm spending the weekend with some new CD's and a Level 42 concert video I ordered. And the best surprise of all was that the lead singer/bassist Mark King actually signed my DVD! Like many formerly huge 80s bands, a few original members kept it going on a smaller scale - so the 'Band Machine' is more Mom&Pop. The lead member probably mails out the merch people order himself. Anyway, it was cool. And the dvd is fantastic.

The other CD I got was from Joy as a Valentine present. An out-of-print album that Curt Smith of Tears For Fears recorded in 1991 after leaving TFF. Its major league early 90s Euro-pop, quite the adult contemporary. Curt to this day bemoans he even made it, says he made it to end a contract with MCA. I don't care. It's sweet to me.

Anyway, thanks for letting me share. Blogging during recuperation time feels fun and relaxing. So let's blog:

************
A little BeLosophy rant from the week:
This past week John Williams and George Lucas were scoring the final Star Wars film, Episode 3, and Wednesday they did alot of the big 12-minute Obi-Wan and Anakin duel scene.

Kinda cool to know that the movie is being scene by a big room of people
this week. Though I'm sure lots of the images are animatics still of
sequences.

I really hope Williams blew his nut on this score. (Nice Dave, more nut talk). Like when StarWars Mike and I watched the special edition Star Trek; the music of the prequels seems so undermixed and not as dominant as the classic trilogy and the Star Trek's of the 70s. If they did Jedi again now, Luke kicking Darth's ass after the sister comment would have been more lightsabre sizz;le, surround sound room sound of the generator, footsteps, the battle outside...and buried in it would have been that demonic descending choral music Williams wrote. I mean it was just damn obvious Luke was falling into the dark and going apeshit with rage with that music.

I watch the prequels with such an open mind and ear and sometimes I just
feel these holes where someone needed to crank the volume on the music. Or
action scenes where more THX surround effects seem crammed in and the music
is barely heard galloping along. I don't need to hear every shnukkle vendor
in the Pod Arena stands selling Corellian CornNuts, and people cheering, I want that
music jammin. I need some help rooting for the CGCartoons George.

Maybe its fine and I'm getting old. But when I watch Geonosis, the music
isn't penetrating me nearly as much as Hoth or Endor. It was
Music-Image-Sound effects. Now it seems Image-Sound effects-Music.

I think if that original recipe was used, the prequels would have "felt"
better to many who didn't like it. Cuz music is always there, you only
hear it a few times when someone's theme was supposed to be heard. The
rest of the time its background music. The classics the music was always
there. And it buffered some of the more sappy moments or lackluster
transitions. The score told you what you needed to feel when a landspeeder
sped along, or people walked down hallways. Kept you locked in the feel of
the universe. I don't get all the time with the prequels. The music for
the speeder chase on Coruscant is classic Williams and I was straining to hear
it on the film. But when I heard the soundtrack, I never knew there was a
tribal drum solo going on in there. Zam and Anakin's engine sounds were
more prevalent. There's Zappa-ian guitar solos in that scene! I swear, weird stuff.

Meh...

************
Speaking of Star Wars, this SW novel is great. 'Shatterpoint'. Think Mace Windu starring in 'Apocalypse Now.' Heavier than the usual SW fare. Definitely a hard PG-13.

************
Read on if you're one of those people who appreciates or digs on the thought of antiques, or things like inaminate objects that have been around a long time. Like furniture a family had for 150 years and the eras its existed through. Old trees that have been on your block for 80 years. Or Coney Island and all the stories and experiences, memories people had at that place over such a long time. The times these items have seen.

I read an article mentioning one of those Plane Graveyards in the Mojave desert. Where de-commisioned airline planes get stored when they're retired, 747's and the like. Just sitting out there to be used to parts, or to blow up in a movie.

Got me thinking how much thought and emotion would be burned in the upholstery of those planes. How many stories would be contained in the cabins. How many thousands of people over so many years sat in those planes, and thought long and hard about so many things. 200 people, 200 different stories x however many flights x the years the plane was in commission. How much mental energy imbued into those windows, from people looking out them thinking on who they're about see again. Or who they just left, on good or bad terms. Or the life they just left to start anew. Or how much Life Inventory they engaged in having that isolated, private, intense period to be alone with nothing but their thoughts. And being in a plane, you can't pull over. Can't take a detour. Can't move out. Can't stop at a gas station to break for a minute. Plus there's the chance of a crash in the back of your mind. Its a flying 'meditation-with-your-eyes-open' chamber. Its's different than a bus, there's stuff to look at from a bus or train, you can tell where you are. On a plane, you're up there. Just you and air.

People flying to meet someone they love, go home, leave home, leaving a lover, on their way to a funeral, from a funeral, a new job, a dream vacation 10 years in the making, goin to kill someone, comeing from having killed someone. The fear of flying, the anxiety, the glee of someone's first flight. If people can talk about someone 'lighting up a room'...(you don't have to see them come in but you can tell they showed up because the energy of the room changes.) THAT kind of energy is what I'm talkin' about. That energy emitting out the pores from all those plane passengers over the years.

I dunno know. If there was such thing as a 'Plane Whisperer', akin to one of those TV detective 'mediums' that can feel the crime psychic-ley, where it overwhelms them bordering on brain damage, all that power... make one of those mediums press their ear against a decommissioned plane's fuselage to tap into the history. It'd become a scene out of Scanners.


************
'Meh!...whadda you know??!! Why don't you go name a monkey..."

Well, okay.

************

Go buy and watch and love Firefly.
FOX deserves a molotov cocktail thru the programmer's doors for screwing up that one.

************
New band name: Twinkie Barter Coalition.

Monday

From my George Carlin at-a-glance desk calendar.
The weekend page:

"Civilization began its downhill path the day some guy first uttered the words "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

Monday's page:

"I think many years an advanced civilization intervened with us gentically and gave us just enough intelligence to develop dangerous technology but not enough to use it wisely. Then they sat back to watch the fun. Kind of like a human zoo. And you know something? They're definitely getting their money's worth.

************

Is it me, or is that as we humans hit senior citizen age, our greeting message on our asnwering machine becomes longer because we talk s l o w e r for some reason. My Dad's work answering machine sounds like Graham Bell's first recording; " Hi...this_is_Bruce. I_can't_come_to_the_phone_right now," etc.....

Either he's doing his best Kirk impression, or most of his customers are new to English and he slows down so they can keep up in translating in their heads.

*************
Fripp says...
"The way we describe our world shows how we think of our world. How we think of our world governs how we interpret our world. How we interpret our world directs how we participate in the world. How we participate in the world shapes the world.

Chiming In with Stuff

Had to get this up there. Some deliciously twisted comedy here. Take 10 minutes and have a good laugh.

It's gonna get warmer. Right????

Which of these is an Italian submarine and which one's the Batmobile?



**********

In 7th grade, watching Voltron after-school on Channel 50 in Detroit, I discovered a wonderful scientific thing:
If you eat Chef Boy-R-Dee ravioli and drink orange juice, your burps smell exactly like hot dog burps.

**********

Jerry, I think he's going for the two..

Augmentin, a super antibiotic, makes your pee smell like the pumpkin guts from carving at Halloween.

**********

Buddy jan sent this story from his current adventures in UCLA's MBA program:
I was told this story by a career counselor, Matthew, who works with us at
school.
He was recruiting people for investment banking jobs in Hong Kong, and
part of the interview process for i-banking is a "pressure interview"
where they try to push your buttons to see how you deal with tough
negotiators.

They look through your resume for things you may be defensive about, and
ask you pointed questions about them.

So this interview happened to be the lead pilot on the bombing run to kill
Qadaffi back in the 1980s. He'd gotten out of the military and was
looking for a job in investment banking.

So they sit down across the table, Matthew pulls out the guy's resume, and
the first question he asks is...

"So you're flying over Libya in the dead of night in a multimillion-dollar
aircraft, loaded with bombs, on a top-secret mission to kill Qadaffi. And
you MISSED. Why should I hire you?"

He said the guy told him to f--- off. He gave the guy the job.

**********

Zac and Penny got Joy and I hooked on Firefly, a great scifi series from the Buffy producers. It came and went too quickly due to FOX handling it as badly as their reality show contestants treat the family name back home. Rent it and dig it. It's very easy.

**********

Literal odds on this guy being the next Bond.

The more things change, the more men stay boys

Merry Monday.
This in from my oldest friend, 'Star Wars Mike', known to many of my friends by name and having never met him. He has a jawdropping collection of old and new sci-fi toy merchandise. That's his hobby, collecting that stuff. Dad was a serious card collector back in the day, Mom collected Barbie's, it's in his DNA. SWMike has original Planet of the Apes sets unwrapped, original Star Trek, 80s Buck Rogers, Raiders of the Lost Ark (yes, remember, they had figures and vehicles for that. Black Hole (Vincent and Old Bob the droids), two unwrapped Boba Fett's still in the UPS package from when you had to send away for him in 1981 with cutout seals from the other figures you bought. The Cheerio's cards, the Burger King Glasses (whole classic trilogy), the dixie cups, you name it. It's a museum. Like the girl with classic toys episode of Seinfeld.

So with that introduction out the way, here's an email I got from him today. His son Connor is 5 now and as ruthless a collector as they come. Just like Dad. And Grandpa.

"Score! The new E3 Preview figures are out. Saturday night we picked up 2 General Grievous, the lava planet ambassador, and the wookie soldier (there were no R2 units which I thought was odd!) There is actually a funny story behind it. I was in the aisle with my son and daughter and I was looking at the Man Thing Marvel figure and Connor goes Hay dad they have a Grievous. I was like get out of here, no they don't. My son was like yeah they do! I lean over and look down the isle and said OH MY GOD THEY DO! I had known that they were out but never expected to find one on a Saturday night. We laughed all weekend about it. We also picked up that red Clone Trooper with the 2 laser guns.

later"

*UPDATE*: SWMike sends in this link of Super Grande Explo-zee-ann of Star Wars merchandise at WalMart.

**************

Speaking of when we grew up...
The 'Happy Days' cast has another reunion special this week. 30 year anniversary. Thursday night at 8pm. If you happen to catch Cha-Chi, there's ointments for that.

***************
Weirdo German Socialists Gone Wild!

***************

You don't even wanna know the piece I wrote on getting rid of my Contour this past weekend, the 'Green Goose'... my car of the last 7 years. Another coat of polish and I'll be delivering the 'Old Yeller' of sheet metal. Stay tuned. Or run now. Or buy Visine for monitor eyes.

***************
Sting is going on tour again in April. Back to basics with a four piece rooted more in guitar and rock. Like the Soul Cages tour of 1991, but this time purposely playing college towns and smaller arenas, like Van Andel in Grand Rapids, MI. To again get back in the rock nature of a quartet with more stretching and improvising.

Soap + Box ='s:
I've heard the bitching. For years. I understand (yet don't really agree, but anyway...). But if you like superb music, played by world class musicians, go see this tour. For 2 hours you can forget the 'arrogance - smugness - tantric yoga sex- anti-Police reunion - Jaguar commercial - tries to act in movies - vegetarian - too many songs about love - Rainforest saving - Elton John hugging - thinks he's all that at 50' catty perception of Sting the celebrity and go see why all that shit doesn't change the fact that he sells out wherever he goes for a reason: He puts on a great show, his bands can play their ass off, and yes, he IS that good. The shows with the bigger bands by nature have to be more streamlined with that many players, but 4 people can stretch alot. And Sting proved that in the Police and on the 91 and 93 tours with the 4-piece.

Ok fine, make me use the big guns you hipsters:
"they'll probably play more old Police tunes!...In fact Sting even said so."

Fine, make me pull out the Cred Grenade:
The keyboardist is Shayne Fontayne (Lone Justice, Bruce Springsteen), and the drummer is Josh Freese, the new 'session cat that plays with everyone' these days and currently a member of A Perfect Circle. Now if these "legit" guys, who are around 30, and love alot of the same hip music that we persnickety Sting bitchers like, why on Earth would they play with him? The money you might say? Oh but that would be selling out, and that's a big no-no to us Generation X'ers, except for U2, Bruce, REM, and Wilco. They just sell-out arenas, no corporation underwrites their tours, no...

Just go see Sting kids, he's good. And the tix are $40, not $80. It'll be like when your parents took you to Neil Diamond and it took you a week to tell only your closest friend in confidence that it was actually a fantastic show. (This is before mock-retro-feigned-worship of Neil took hold.)

You're My Dawg, uuhh, Mr. DawgMan

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Ran-dome

A funny reply from a friend who's birthday I wished him well on yesterday:
"For what its worth, I only have one more year left to
enjoy the much coveted 18-34 demographic. In exactly
one year, I could be walking down the street drinking
a Pepsi and no one will care. Sigh...

Well, at least he can still chomp a Dorito and scream EXTREEEEEEEMELY loud. Because of the EXTREEEEEME flavor. But he might be too old for that. But then why would anyone want to do that?
T.H.B. thinks it might be due to the exreeeeeme lack of parenting skills that allowed a generation of teenagers to respond favorably to advertising depicting them in a blue-green film stock filter dreamland where screaming for what you want, whenever one wants, is rewarded with sugar, great clothes, free rock instruments, and whatever Junior wanted in the first place. Which seems to be most likely looking like a supermodel while banging a stranger in a bathroom with the door open letting the party crowd watch.


*******************

It's In The Cards...
Funny how in the card game UNO, the instructions state that if you play a Wild Draw Four card, you better not have had a color or number that could have been played instead of the Wild card. Because someone can challenge you saying "I think you had a 'correct' card you could have played.' If the Wild Draw Four card has been played illegally, the offending player must draw 4 cards instead. But if the card has been correctly played, the CHALLENGER must draw 2 cards in addition to the 4 cards that the Wild card first demanded them to.

Kinda funny... when the gold-digging groupie later admits that she lied about Mr. Athlete raping her, you don't see her name and identity get dragged thru the media mud too as a penalty. I.e. pick up her 6 cards

********************

Whoa...this site is cooky:

*********************

This Rush Calender saved my work cube mojo. The classic red Tama set on the lakeraft is worth the price alone. (see the example pic once there)