Thursday, January 27, 2005

You're My Dawg, uuhh, Mr. DawgMan

Next time you watch Randy Jackson on American Idol make fun of anyone's "look", remember these clothes and hair from when he played bass with Journey on the 1986 'Raised On Radio' tour.
The tour that Steve and Neal kicked drummer Steve Smith and bassist Ross Valory out of the band because...well, because... Steve Perry was a fucking dick. Great singer though. Good Look. Great drumma.

*********
Speaking of Journey and Steve Perry's dickishness...
The ever-evolving band that is Journey got their name on the Walk Of Fame in Hollywood this week. What's nutty is that everyone ever involved showed up. Like Steve Perry, who basically put a Voo-Dooian Death Curse on the rest of the band for getting a new singer and touring without him when he bratted out 5 years ago. [See: Behind The Music]. You'd think he wouldn't set foot within a mile of these guys, but he's there. And so is the new singer Steve Augeri, who is excellent by the way.
journeyapphoto300

Jonathan Cain, George Tickner, Steve Perry, Aynsley Dunbar, Neal Schon, Robert Fleischman, Ross Valory, Steve Augeri, Steve Smith, and Deen Castronovo
(I like the Steve Perry in all black suit, Steve Augeri in all white suit thing going. And geezus Neal Schon...dress up for an award why don't you.)

***********
ER: Special Idiots Unit. 8 Eastern/9 Left Of Central
They don't write Law & Orders this eff'd up.

I happen to know a nurse who, while working, was thoroughly cussed out by the impatient angry mother of a patient she was caring for: a 17 year-old who 'borrowed' his parent's car and slammed into a tree at 100mph. (Apparently out of spite and attention aimed at his oh-so-loving parents.) He too is a cussing, undiscrete angry person. As well as a "son of a bitch" and "little asshole" according to the Mother on the phone (calling to check up on him, mind you). The nurse I happen to know thought about reporting this incident to appropriate hospital personel - to refer the kid to Anger Management therapy and also log a report about the crazy Mother.

Then she learned...[wait for it]...that the person she'd report it to, the head cheese of the Anger Management department - was the same cussing Mother on the phone. A couple of floors away.
I wonder why the kid is so angry?


************
And you thought THAT was crazy medical stuff:
Doctors have been fusing human embryo cells with animal embryo cells. Human-animal hybrids.
Remember Calibos from 'Clash Of The Titans'?
These scientists aren't stopped, he's gonna be mowing the lawn next door.

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*************
Got my first W-2 form in the mail today, taxes time she be a comin'.
Hmmm...I wonder what I'll do with my tax refund this year?...

*************
Zac sent me this, from his Onion desk calendar.
________
Mad Lib Filled With Swears

PORTLAND, ME— The popular party amusement Mad Libs was misued for profane
purposes Monday, when Peter Leff, a Portland-area 12-year-old, filled the
blank spaces on a "Space Adventure Mad Lib" entirely with swear words.

"Prepare to shit the enemy," Leff had Space Commander Mr. Garrick say. "Set
all pussys on fart and brace for blowjobs."

________

I replied to Zac with this, then he said to put it on BeLog:
One of my favs of all time.
At JWT, that phrase was kept alive for a good week in all email
correspondances when it appeared in Onion years ago. CLASS-IC.

One of my cherished memories was 6th grade when MadLibs was the
greatest thing. We had a book filled with every swear word we could
mutter or imagine. Vulgar equations of Pythagorean Quantum Proportions. No orifice or foul-smelling substance was denied. The teacher confiscated it and put it on her desk. We then watched a movie, so with the lights out, my pals and I shared glances of utter horror and concern that when she read that, we were all going down hard.

One of the few times in my life I ran into the burning house without
thinking to save the day, with no other plan for rescue. I go days figuring
a plan (an obsesseive fault of mine), but there was no plan, and my only opp was laughing in the face of anniolation and grabbing that book. I simply crouch-walked from my desk down the desk aisle, (the same aisle the movie was projecting down btw), walking like Chuck Berry doing his duck-walk but hunched over to keep my head from shadowpuppeting the movie, got to the desk, grabbed, brought it back and hid it somewhere.
Anywhere. Just_not_on_that_desk.

How on Earth that teacher didn't see one kid out of 25 start moving during a
movie, grab something off her desk, and not say something or scream at me,
or ask what the hell was going on, I'll never know. It simply didn't make
sense that I defied authority that brazenly and grabbed something back that a teacher took
from us.

When I die and time travel across planes of dimension, I'm going back to
that moment to see what happened/why I got away with that.

I know I know...get a blog.


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